curionenene (curionenene) wrote in elastic_4,


Title: Assortments
Pairing: Donghae/Hyukjae, one ninja!SHINee bandfic
Genre: Humor/Fluff/Both
Rating: PG-13 – PG-15
Summary: An assortment of fluffy, crackish drabbles/one-shots based on prompts given to me by various people. The first half is mostly from tees2mai except one which is from renichifreak and another from an unnamed friend, and the other half comes from this post I put up. Thanks to the five people there who responded.

Do it like the English
Prompt: Sandwiches (which after a hilarious conversation, degenerated into afternoon tea with Donghae reading the paper and Hyukjae holding an umbrella)

Leeteuk thought he’d gone bonkers when he walked into their dorm and was greeted with the scene from Lady Chatterley.

“What,” He expounds on the first word all his bewilderment and disbelief. “In the world are you two doing?”

Donghae looks up from his newspaper, and with all the dignity of the affected English nobleman outfit he’s wearing, speaks. “Why, we’re having some afternoon tea. Of course.”

Staring at the elegant tea set and tea dolly with delicate finger sandwiches and scones set on it, Leeteuk quirks a rather critical eyebrow. “Yes. I can see that. Why?”

“It was Donghae’s idea.” Hyukjae speaks up now, casting his companion a severe glance before giving Leeteuk a measured look as if to express the express view that the current of which their dorm was in was definitely not. His. Fault.

All Leeteuk had to say to that was. “You’re holding an umbrella.”



“It’s a parasol.”

Leeteuk refuses to budge. “It’s a pink umbrella. With lace.”

Hyukjae sniffles affectedly. “I need to protect my complexion.”

“We’re indoors.”

“Exactly.” Hyukjae proclaims. “My skin is that sensitive.”

Leeteuk decides to give up on that train of conversation in order to preserve his sanity. Instead, he asks something that has been bothering him ever since he stepped into the room. “Were you two having sex just before I came in? Because I swear, that was what you were doing before you jumped apart. And don’t deny it. It smells.”

But before Leeteuk could be irritated by both of their butter-could-melt-in-my-mouth expressions, Kyuhyun passes by and enlightens their leader upon the reason for the strange situation. “A fan gave them an artwork of them in Victorian clothes, with an accompanying fanfiction. They loved it. Unfortunately for us. But they’ll get over it soon. Probably. I think.”

Leeteuk sighs as Donghae and Hyukjae attempt to hurl witty British comebacks at Kyuhyun, rubbing at his temples in a vain attempt to dispel the mounting headache. He only hoped that he could come up with a plausible explanation in time for their next interview why Donghae was wearing a powdered wig and Hyukjae was touting around an umbrella around the whole of their concert.

Parasol. Whatever.


Just a transaction
Prompt: Businessmen (but earlier joking prompt which was ‘sex’ might have made it in somewhat)

The slide and burn between two bodies was almost unbelievable. Slick yet with just enough friction in between so that even an innocent touch between two expanses of skin was sinful.

But of course, that wasn’t the real attraction of things. What was was the continual slapping of meat against meat, and the implication of the action that had to be done in order for the slapping sound to have been produced.

Then there were the sounds, of course. The moanings, whimperings, yellings and all the assortments of sounds made during activities of enjoyment. Sounds that built up and up like a layered pastry of peppered curses that had no heat other than that of pleasure – until they couldn’t anymore, so that one pure sound, a keening stretched out and thin, would collapse it so that it showed physically in a collapse of limbs and other things.

They came out properly dressed, being well versed in how to appear entirely unblemished except to the trained eye. And the bartender had such an eye.

“And you two insist you’re not lovers.” He scoffed, at which Hyukjae replied.

“We’re not. We were simply adjourning to the back room to have a private conversation at which resulted in an agreement, at which a transaction of two things of equal value that we were willing to give to each other occurred.”

“We’re just businessmen concluding a deal.” Donghae translated to the bartender’s politely bewildered look.

He snorted as he spotted a movement which he rightly guessed was Donghae’s hand reaching to grope Hyukjae’s butt. “Right. So that’s what they’re calling it these days.”


The Gomu Gomu Jet Gattling
Prompt: Manhwa (And with a reminder that Hyuk loves One Piece. Bad references up ahead)

Donghae loved Hyukjae. But sometimes, he had a little trouble getting the other’s attention.

The sometimes were when a new issue of this and that manhwa came out, and Donghae was stuck sticking his hand into Hyukjae’s face and waving frantically to get his attention. On good days, he got ignored. On bad days, he got one of those Hyukjae glares that made him feel like five years old again.

But sometimes, there was real reason for trying to get the other’s attention. And that real reason was the very real problem in the middle of his legs that only Hyukjae could take care of.

And so, one day, while browsing through the internet, Donghae got the inspiration for what he thought must be his most genius idea ever.

So, when Hyukjae opened the door to his room a few days later, the latest volume of One Piece clutched in his hand, he was stopped in his tracks from gleefully falling into his bed and devouring his book by… well, the main protagonist of the said manga lying on top of his bed.

It took him a few minutes to get out of his shock to actually realize who it was lying on his bed. “Hae…?”

“No. I’m Straw-hat Luffy!” Donghae insisted as seriously as he could with a goofy grin. “And I’m going to be the Pirate King!”

“Straw-hat Luffy, huh.” Hyukjae raised an eyebrow, split between being disturbed and amused. He settled for the latter since it would better preserve his sanity and because this was Donghae he was dealing with. “What does the notorious Straw-hat what to do with little old me?”

“Well, I’m looking for a crew! I can’t cross the Grand Line without a crew, so what do you say, join me?” Donghae grinned, winking at Hyukjae, which won him a snort.

“Firstly, you kind of butchered the lines. And secondly, are you really that desperate to get some that you’d cosplay as Luffy?” Hyukjae put his arms akimbo.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Donghae shrugged, entirely un-Luffy-like.


“I’ll show you all my special attacks.” Donghae waggled his eyebrows, just as Hyukjae had made the move to leave.

Pausing, Hyukjae turned to consider. “…Fine.”

Jumping up in glee, Donghae pulled and tackled Hyukjae to the bed at a speed that even Luffy would have envied.

“Gomu Gomu Jet Gattling!”

The groan Hyukjae gave at that was only token. It was actually a pretty apt name if he thought about it. Not that he could.

Think, that was.


Prompt: Hyukjae is giving a presentation. Boss Hae is distracting with distracting IMs.

Hyukjae had thought that he’d turned off his Wi-Fi before going to the front and giving out his presentation. Then again, he had thought changing his password just five minutes before coming into the presentation room should have made it safe enough to go to the restroom without lugging his laptop along with him to take a tinkle. As for now, he was just glad that he had set up his powerpoint so that it didn’t show any unfortunate IMs popping up on the bottom right side of the screen.

Still it was distracting. He’d been in the middle of expounding his point on why it was the best time for the company to expand their chain of health tea products into the Philippines when a certain message from a certain donghae861015 popped up.

Especially since that message was something along the lines of: NAKED BOYS RUNNING THROUGH THE FOREST!

He wasn’t really sure. He’d been too busy trying not to look like a deer caught in the headlights.

“Ah. I mean. Yes, so the Philippines is showing immense interest in Korean cultural products due to the explosion of K-pop, and so if we package the tea as such we will –hurk.”

“I’m sorry?”

Hyukjae looked up from his screen at which his brain had been stimulated by IMs suggesting doing some decidedly naughty with their private genitals and realized what he’d said – or rather what he hadn’t said. “Uh. I mean…” He trailed off as his eyes landed on his only boss in the room not staring at him like he had a sort of mental problem. “I’m sorry. Can I have a world with President Lee for a moment?”

President Lee looked up from typing his laptop with an entirely innocent look as if he couldn’t possibly know what this was about. But Hyukjae knew he did, and a quick glance at his screen and the barrage of new suggestive IMs proved his theory.

The other board of directors filed meekly out of the room despite their misgivings, because after all, the president had allowed this travesty of their time. And it was only when the door closed that Hyukjae dropped his polite demeanor and glared at Donghae. “Yah. Can you stop doing that?”

“No.” Donghae didn’t even pretend not to know what Hyukjae was talking about. “And I’m glad you got rid of the others, now I can do this.”

And before Hyukjae could even protest, Donghae had launched himself onto Hyukjae, knocking nearly everything off the table in their frenzy.

Not that Hyukjae was really protesting. He had, after all, gotten uncomfortably hard with each IM that Donghae had posted.

He wondered if the board of directors ever suspected. He could never know since their faces were as blank as Donghae’s was tongue-in-cheek. But then again, being fed the excuse that Hyukjae had tripped over some wires and onto the furniture resulting in the mess and the visible marks on Hyukjae’s skin, Hyukjae thought that they were just secretly glad that they didn’t need to be in the room when the president’s libido went haywire.


Creative Compromises
Prompt: Nailpolish. Hyuk likes to put this on his nails. Hae is not amused.

Donghae usually had nothing against nail-polish. They made the nails more presentable, and he thought that when little girls played with it, it was adorable.

But with Hyukjae, it was a different matter.

It wasn’t a matter that he didn’t like Hyukjae with nail polish. He liked looking at it. It admittedly made Hyukjae’s fingers look longer and delicate. But what he didn’t like was… the taste.

Licking Hyukjae’s fingers in prep, and tasting that strange chemical taste, it really wasn’t his thing. And he had gone flaccid several times because of that.

Oh yes, they’d gone through the arguments. The shouting and justification and rebuttal, all of which usually ended up in a very healthy round of make-up sex, the entire matter just swept under the carpet until the next time the issue arose.

So, he thought they were going through the same thing again when he’d been about to suck on Hyukjae’s fingers and realized his nails were covered with a shiny pink sheen.

He had opened his mouth to make his usual sounds of dissent when Hyukjae put a finger on the other’s lips. “Just lick it.”

Staring at the other a little skeptically, but knowing Hyukjae usually had a reason for doing things (even if he agreed about it or not), he opened his mouth and licked.

And licked again.

“…Strawberry?” He finally asked, unsure if what he was tasting was right.

“Uhuh. I have a few contacts.” Hyukjae chuckled. “No issue with me wearing nail polish now?”

“…Fine.” Donghae relented. “Next time, however, I want some chocolate flavoured ones.”


Prompt: Hae pretends he’s a zombie and Hyuk is not amused at being scared in the middle of the night


If there’s one thing Hyukjae did not appreciate, it was being woken up in the middle of the night by someone screaming into his ear about a mass of grey meat that although was the essential means of intelligent existence, was not as palatable as a menu item except to the thing which Donghae was pretending to be.

After the initial shock of waking up, and seeing the result of an admittedly good replication of zombie features on Donghae’s face, Hyukjae became much less scared and much more enraged when he realized that it was all but an attempt to get him to scream.

Kyuhyun looked up from where he was gaming in the living room and snorted when Donghae limped to the couch, clutching his family jewels.

“I really wonder what made you think that dressing up as a zombie would make a good pretext for sex.” Kyuhyun commented dryly, at which Donghae waved his fist and squeaked with all the manly terrorizing outrage he could manage.

Which really wasn’t all that much.


Knowing is Everything
Prompt: Donghae getting coupled up with Son Eun Seo on We Got Married and how Super Junior feels about it.

Filming always made him late to come home, and the whole of the group was used to it. Members came and went, appearing sparsely for a few months at which sometimes they were missed, and then the next thing everyone knew, there was one more lazing body at home to yell at and lump chores on.

Granted, it was a little different this time. It was a show which basically had become an outlet for stars in a highly regulated industry for a little romance. The regular kind. And on it, he had a ‘wife’ and did sweet loving deeds to show appreciation for his other half. The group had a ‘sister-in-law’ to please during her visits.

The fans weren’t happy of course. Eun Seo wasn’t pretty/smart/sexy/good enough. Most importantly, she wasn’t them. If he were attached, he couldn’t be their prince in their sweet daydreams anymore.

Honestly, he didn’t care. He would scold the fans if they attacked her since it was only courtesy to do so. But not out of any feelings other than the friendship between colleagues.

His group, he knew, would support him them same. After all, they all knew, where Donghae’s heart truly lay.

Even when he came home late, even despite what all the tabloids, gossips and netizens said, even when they watched the broadcast of the latest episode and Donghae and Eun Seo did some ridiculously romantic thing with each other, building their home together.

They knew.

And most importantly, Donghae thought as he opened the door to his room, and he crawled into his bed, snuggling up to warmth that turned over and wrapped him in welcome and love…

Hyukjae knew.


Everywhere and Nowhere
Prompt: Lee Donghae gives a stranger (aka Lee Hyukjae) a lift from Mokpo to Seoul (or rather, Hyukjae gets a lift from a stranger lol)

Hyukjae cursed for the thousand tenth time as a car drove past him, ignoring his obstinate thumb waved high in the air. He didn’t run after to yell at it though – the first time and a mouthful of dust had taught him better.

Sighing, Hyukjae slumped to the ground, absolutely miserable at his failure. And his lack of success in hitching a ride was only the last in a whole sequences of bad luck. He’d been on his way back to Seoul from Jeju. He’d overslept and missed his plane and couldn’t afford to get another ticket. So, instead, he had no choice to go the long way. It hadn’t been that bad at first – the boat ride had gone without a hitch, as did the initial part of the bus ride. But at one of the rest-stops in Mokpo, he’d taken a little longer due to a bigger load, and when he got back, the bus just wasn’t there anymore.

The rest stop was a toilet in the middle of nowhere and with no other utilities than to relieve yourself. So Hyukjae wouldn’t die of thirst since there was water, but it couldn’t get him home. He’d thought he could hitch a ride, but apparently, the human race was mean. Really really mean.

Hyukjae ignored the fact that if it were he driving past a hitchhiker, he probably wouldn’t stop anyway.

“…Are you going to get in?”

Hyukjae paused at the voice, looking up. And like a miracle, there was a guy sticking his head out of his van, gesturing for Hyukjae to get in.

“Thanks.” Hyukjae wanted to kiss the guy, but instead, he only walked to the other side and climbed in. “I’m Hyukjae.”

“Donghae.” The guy held out his hand. His handshake was firm but not too firm. A perfect handshake.

“So, where are you going?” Donghae asked when Hyukjae buckled himself in.

“Seoul. My bus left me behind.” Hyukjae explained and the guy made a face, nodding sympathetically. “But you can drop me off somewhere I can get to a bank or something. And transport. Somewhere convenient for you.”

But Donghae only shook his head, starting the ignition. “Anywhere is fine for me. So Seoul it is.”

Hyukjae persisted. He didn’t want to be too much trouble. “If it’s too far from where you’re headed, just drop me… wherever.”

“I don’t know whether it’s far from where I’m headed.” Was Donghae’s odd answer, and Hyukjae blinked at it.

“But where are you going?” Hyukjae asked once again, at which Donghae sighed.

“Everywhere… and nowhere.”


It took exactly an hour, 32 minutes and 17 seconds before Hyukjae opened his mouth to ask Donghae what he meant, at least, according to Donghae.

“You’re the first one to wait so long before asking.” Donghae said in much amusement, at which Hyukjae cleared his throat in embarrassment.

“It’s just a fancy answer for travelling.” Donghae continued after a moment’s pause. And at Hyukjae’s disappointment, chuckled, tilting his head and looking at Hyukjae in jaunty sideways glances. “After all, I’m going around everywhere, looking for answers. When I get the answers, I seem to go somewhere. But then, when I lose them, then I go nowhere.”

Hyukjae tried to wrap his head around this. But he couldn’t get any further in thought after Donghae laughed, poked his cheek, and called him the most adorable thing he’d ever seen (and quite a achievement since Donghae had seen plenty of things).

The blush remained on Hyukjae’s cheeks astutely after this.


They went everywhere.

From city to city, they saw everything. Strange buildings with statues on the roof, strange sights like that man wearing a basket of fruits on his head and a giant turtle following close behind. They saw scenes of beauty – the sunrise, the sunset, an old couple holding hands together, the bloom of flowers in May. And they saw scenes of pain – gang-fights on the street, a dead deer on the road, columns of smoke rising up in the distance and poisoning the land.

But there were also the stars. And like an old-school navigator, Donghae used the stars to get to where he was going. And he was right about the way more than Hyukjae, who used his limited resources and got himself a map after seeing Donghae’s seemingly unreliable scene of navigation. He was proven wrong, like many of the things he’d once thought black and white.

He’d lain outside with Donghae under the stars one night, camping out beside the desert road. And one by one they mapped out the road marks of the milky way.

Secretly though, when Donghae breathed out to him at how beautiful and wonderful the stars were, Hyukjae looked at the sparkle and life in Donghae’s eyes and thought there was something even more so.


But one day, Hyukjae didn’t need to use the stars to navigate anymore. He had buildings and road names to guide the way. And slowly, Hyukjae was telling Donghae which way to go, because closer and closer to the city, the bright electrical lights shone, while the stars grew dim.

It was night by the time Hyukjae reached home.

He’d called ahead, in a payphone somewhere, to let them know he was coming, so there’d be someone waiting at his house. So, there was really no reason to dwaddle – to look back at Donghae unsurely. No reason at all.

“Well… bye.” Donghae said simply, as if this was a simple parting, and there wasn’t that prospect that they’d probably never see each other again.

But maybe it was that simple. Hyukjae had gotten to where he was going while Donghae hadn’t. Their interests clashed, and so they had to part.

“Bye.” Hyukjae replied watching as Donghae gave him a grin, hopped back into his car and drove away.


Some nights Hyukjae could see the stars. The ambient light in the city made it hard, sometimes too hard. But some nights, when it was clear, Hyukjae would stare up and squint, and he’d see them there.

He’d be tempted to lie down wherever he was, and think about Donghae. Hyukjae missed him terribly. He missed the way the other talked, the childish sparkle in his eyes, and the way he’d hug and sometimes traced his finger over Hyukjae’s arm and made the other wish it was more than just Donghae’s unfathomably need for body contact. He wondered if Donghae missed him.

He thought probably not – after all, Donghae had places to go. He’d meet new people. And with that short attention span, he’d most likely forget about Hyukjae one day.

But until that day came, Hyukjae would stare up at the stars, and wonder if Donghae ever thought about him.


Donghae did.

Somedays, he stared up at the stars, so bright where he was, and wonder if Hyukjae could see the stars in that bright city of his too.

He thought about going back sometimes, to visit. But Hyukjae had gotten where he was going, and it wouldn’t do to have a drifter like him bringing chaos and uncertainty into the other’s life.

Or that’s what he thought.


It was a year later, and Donghae was driving through Mokpo going on to somewhere, or nowhere. He wasn’t really thinking, just driving, going through the daily motions. He didn’t even think about it when he saw the guy standing by the road, sticking out his thumb for a ride. He stopped like he always did, and gestured for the guy to get onto his truck.

It was only when the guy climbed onto the truck, buckled in his seat belt and said hello and his name, that he realized exactly who had come on board.

“Hyukjae?” Donghae thought he must be doing a pretty good impression of a goldfish now, with the way Hyukjae was grinning at him. “What? Why?”

“Well…” Hyukjae shrugged. “I’m going somewhere… or nowhere and my bus left me here so I thought I’d hitch a ride.

Donghae frowned, giving Hyukjae a look, and like a reverse form of déjà vu, pressed. “But why? Why are you all the way out here?”

And Hyukjae cupped Donghae’s cheek and stared into those sweet brown eyes that he’d so missed. “Because when you dropped me off, you dropped me off at nowhere. So I needed to leave and find you, so that I could get somewhere again.”


I would go through all this pain
Take a bullet straight through my brain
Yes, I would die for you, baby
But you won't do the same

(or gross overstretching of the prompt as the author can’t bear to write angst now)

Hyukjae was nearly in tears. Staring up at Donghae, he tried hard not to let the tears fall from his eyes, but it was hard, the sting of this injustice far too painful.

“I can’t believe you, Hae.” He spat hatefully, the taste of betrayal bitter in his mouth. “I really can’t believe you.”

Donghae didn’t say anything, only looked down at Hyukjae, and indescribable look on his face.

“Seriously...” Hyukjae nearly broke down then, but he held himself, as he whispered with all the hurt in his heart. “We’ve been together for so long... but you just... you just... just like that...”

Pushing Donghae off of him, Hyukjae finally screamed out. “How could you just reject my proposition to switch places like that!”

Donghae sighed.

“I mean, every night, I go through all that pain for you. Hell, you go so rough, it’s like taking a bloody bullet- ” Hyukjae growled, wagging his finger accusingly at Donghae.

“You like it.”

“AND NOW.” Hyukjae raised his voice pretending he didn’t hear. “You aren’t even willing to do the same for me! How ungrateful is that?!”

“...” Donghae sighed. “Hyukjae.”

“What?” Hyukjae snapped, irritated.

“If you really want to fuck me, you can.”

There was a long pause.

“Really?” The way Hyukjae perked up reminded Donghae of an excited kitten at the prospect of some catnip.

“Yeah. Of course. You’re right. You’re willing to go through all that pain for me, I should be willing too.”

Grinning, Hyukjae let out a whoop of joy and tackled Donghae to the ground, happily kissing the other at having won.

Half an hour later, Donghae rubbed lazy circles on Hyukjae’s back, the latter having been knocked out after being bottom again, having forgotten entirely about the switching of roles in the midst of their frenzy.

Donghae couldn’t help but smirk.


Prompt: Inception!fic (but probably not what the requester had in mind lol)

Donghae groaned as he sat up from his bed. Turning he stared at his alarm clock for a moment. 7.00 a.m. Too early.

15 minutes later the alarm rang again and Donghae reluctantly dragged himself upwards. He’d just remembered. Early filming today. It wasn’t too early. He’d be barely just in time if he hauled himself out of bed now.

He entertained thoughts of going to back to bed and turning up late. But that’d be more trouble than it was worth, and he could always catch a few winks in between breaks.

Sighing, he crawled out of his warm comforters, shivering when his skin hit cool air. Hopping around to get his blood circulation going, he stumbled towards the door, not even making an effort to tiptoe around those who were lucky enough not to need to wake up so early.

Opening the door to the bathroom (the only good perk about waking up early was he didn’t need to wait), he leaned over the skin, splashing cold water on his face, and half-sighed, half-shivered at the feeling. Turning the sink off, he stared at the mirror for a moment, sighing again at the horrible sight of eyebags and lack of sleep. The make-up artists would have a field day commenting later.

He nearly took the wrong toothpaste. Hyukjae would kill him if he used the strawberry flavoured on, and honestly, Donghae was an adult and preferred minty freshness in his mouth rather than chemically sweetened fruit. Swishing the brush around in his mouth for a few minutes, he rinsed and spat out, watching the foam flow down the sink into the drain.

He was typical guy, so the procedures after that didn’t take too long. Shave, shower, shampoo. The fluffy towel taking off most of the moisture as he walked out nude. If Leeteuk were awake, he’d probably kill Donghae for leaving wet footprints along the corridor. But Leeteuk didn’t have anything today, so by the time he woke up, the water would have evaporated.

He changed into a simple t-shirt and jeans. Nothing too sloppy, but nothing too fancy either. He’d have to change out into his outfit anyway.

No one else had woken up yet, so it felt a little lonely just going like this. He was tempted for a moment to wake Hyukjae up, if not only to say good bye. But Hyukjae had had a late night yesterday too, MCing for some show or another. Besides, they’d both be returning around the same time tonight, and it was much nicer to say hello than goodbye.

He wore his shoes pretty fast as he always did, smiling a little at the thought of how Hyukjae always took his time to wear his shoes, needing to untie his shoelaces and retie them again, making sure that the insoles in his shoes were properly tucked in. Donghae always teased Hyukjae endlessly about that.

Checking that everything was in order, Donghae was about to step out of the door when…


Jumping up, Donghae blinked blearily at the sound of Hyukjae yelling at him in confusion. Staring around, he realized that he was in bed and his alarm clock was ringing like a banshee on his tabletop. Groaning, he turned it off, sinking back to the bed for a moment, wondering why he was still in bed when he had already dressed and was ready to go out.

Then, a thought passed through his mind, and he sat up, grabbing the alarm clock and staring at the time.

7 a.m.



Hyukjae nearly screamed when Donghae suddenly yelled into his face, shaking him awake. He stared in dumb bewilderment as Donghae jumped up, running around the dorm screaming. Pretty soon the whole dorm was awake, looking on at the bizarre sight.

“What the hell’s wrong with Donghae?” Leeteuk asked Hyukjae as they watched Donghae run around like a madman.

Hyukjae was about to answer when Donghae suddenly ran up to him and grabbed his shirt, shaking Hyukjae till his teeth chattered. “I’VE BEEN INCEPTIONED!”

Hyukjae managed to pull away, shaking his head as he watched Donghae continue to run around the place until Kyuhyun and Heechul decided they had enough and tackled him to the ground. “I don’t know… sometimes even I don’t understand him…”


Self-help for the Soul
Or otherwise known as the ninja SHINee drabble
Prompt: a fic based on a member i think onew for some reason starting a New years resolution or idk, getting a "Self help" book & tryna stick to it and things go awry.

“Okay, boys. Let’s all settle down and then we’ll start our little heart-to-heart session.” Jinki grinned broadly at the other five guys seated across him. The way he smiled, he obviously either pretended not to notice the less than enthusiastic looks his other members had, or he really didn’t notice. “Jonghyun, you go first.”

“...This is dumb.”

“Now, now, Jonghyun.” Jinki gave his disapproving stare, which actually reminded Taemin of their cleaning lady going cross-eyed at some set of difficult instruction and Kibum of a pigeon. “This is for the good of all of our mental health. This self-help book I’ve been ready says that such sharing time opens up our hearts and relaxes our souls so that we will be happier and more readily able to deal with stress!”

“...Still dumb.” Jonghyun sighed. Not bothering to argue any further, he decided to stand up and make his way back to his room where he could do something more useful than playing Oprah.

“Yah! Jonghyun! Come back here!” Jinki yelled. And when it was obvious that Jonghyun wasn’t going to listen, Onew ran forward and tackled him down. “Jonghyun! You need to stay here and share!”

The other’s watched on with varying degrees of interest and emotion as they watched the two scramble on the floor in a ridiculous parody of a cat and mouse game. It was slightly amusing at least, and it continued for a good five minutes before Jonghyun got fed up and pounced onto Jinki.

“Fine! I’ll share. So... these days, I’ve been sexually frustrated. Since you’re so helpful, hyung, let’s get a go at it!”

The three remaining watched for a moment as Jonghyun forced himself onto an alarmed Jinki, who had been in no way prepared for such a development. Then Kibum realized that this technically meant that his boyfriend was cheating on him. That made him mad. No one cheated on the Almighty Key.

Taemin and Minho stared at the strange scene in mirroring expressions of bewilderment. Finally, Taemin turned to Minho and asked.

“When is someone going to tell Jinki hyung that the self-help book he got is meant for girls?”

Minho just shrugged.

Tags: author: the officesmexer, fandom: shinee, fandom: super junior, focus: band, genre: fluff, genre: humor, length: drabble, length: one-shot, pairing: donghae/eunhyuk, rating: 15, rating: pg-13, work: fanfiction
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