mister fish, did you die? (tees2mai) wrote in elastic_4,
mister fish, did you die?

To Whom It May Concern

Title: To Whom It May Concern
Pairing: Eunhae
Rating: PG-13
Authors: poisonpickles & tees2mai
Genre: AU, Fluff, Comedy
Summary: Online dating is for losers.

"Attractive male seeking attractive male for romantic relationship. I've heard long ads can cost a lot of money. I'm stingy."


Date: Wed, 3 Aug 2011
From: ld1015@lapdmail.com
To: hjbear0404@hotmail.com
Subject: Your Want Ad

Dear Stingy,
I don't usually flip through the newspaper much, except to reach for the easy crossword section, but I'm glad I did today.
I'm not sure if you were going for funny or painfully honest, but either way I'm game.
Yours in Curiosity,
Attractive male answering attractive male in his search for romantic relationship. Luckily emails don't cost anything.


Date: Wed, 3 Aug 2011
From: hjbear0404@hotmail.com
To: ld1015@lapdmail.com
Subject: Shocked

Dear answering attractive male,
I'm not sure how my ad caught your eye; stingy isn't usually a good trait, is it?
Although I hadn't expected anyone to reply, I'm suddenly feeling glad that someone did.
As for funny vs. painfully honest, I think I was going for a bit of both.
Good to know that you like both funny and honest men, I'll keep that in mind.
Yours in all my attractive, funny, and honest glory,


Date: Thur, 4 Aug 2011
From: ld1015@lapdmail.com
To: hjbear0404@hotmail.com
Subject: Amused

Dear Stingy glory,
I think I could sense the honesty. It is quite an attractive trait. Makes up for stingy-ness.
So how did you end up putting up an advert anyway? I hear internet hookups are all the rage now these days.
Newspaper dating is very... retro. And amusing.
What section of the newspaper do you reach for first? Yes, this is a compatibility test!
Awaiting your reply,
Devilishly Handsome Male.


Date: Thur, 4 Aug 2011
From: hjbear0404@hotmail.com
To: ld1015@lapdmail.com
Subject: Retro

Dear Handsome Male,
At least you already know that I only spend money on important things. That has to be some sort of a plus.
Boredom, curiosity... boredom. It honestly wasn't meant to be 100% serious but it's already turning out to be fun.
Newspaper dating is just more... interesting. I think internet dating is too cool for me anyway. Newspapers suit me better.
I tear through the paper to get to the comics. Aren't those usually right by the crossword puzzles?
Still a kid deep down inside,
Retro Male


Date: Thur, 4 Aug 2011
From: ld1015@lapdmail.com
To: hjbear0404@hotmail.com
Subject: What decade are you from?

Dear Retro Male,
So far we've established we're both handsome, funny, honest, good at fiances and we both agree on the most important page of the newspaper.
I'm glad I answered your Want Ad.
Too old school for the internet? I'm going to have to ask your age. My mother has warned me about 'those old perverts on the web line without jobs'.
That's exactly where the crossword puzzles are. I do them every Sunday morning, religiously. It's part of my Sunday routine.
Enjoying myself already,
25 year old, relatively hip and happening male.


Date: Fri, 5 Aug 2011
From: hjbear0404@hotmail.com
To: ld1015@lapdmail.com
Subject: Fiances?

Dear Happening Male,
I think we sound like a good match. Except that I'm not good at fiances. I've never had one. Have you? And how does one get good at them? I'm very curious.
My mother has warned me about giving out my information on the internet. So don't tell her I told you I'm 26.
Maybe one Sunday morning in the future we could share a newspaper together.
Looking forward to your reply,
A 26 year old intrigued by a relatively hip 25 year old


Date: Sat, 6 Aug 2011
From: ld1015@lapdmail.com
To: hjbear0404@hotmail.com
Subject: Fail

Dear Intrigued,
Oh. Fuck. I meant finances. Finances. Not fiances! I haven't had one of those either.
But I guess you could get good at them by always proposing but never following through?
I won't tell your mom if you don't tell mine~
I'll have you let you in on my intense Sunday rituals. I'm not sure you're ready for that yet. You'll have to pass the test first.
We should play 21 questions or word association to get to know each other better!
Wondering if you're brave enough,
Single with no history of fiances.


Date: Sat, 6 Aug 2011
From: hjbear0404@hotmail.com
To: ld1015@lapdmail.com
Subject: Teasing

Dear Adorable Failure,
I thought that might have been what you meant. It was fun teasing you, though.
Proposing and never following through sounds... cruel. I hope there aren't actually many people out there who are good at fiances.
I promise I won't tell your mom (Are you sure you didn't typo 5 as 25?).
A test? 21 seems like a lot of questions... can we start with 5?
Also wondering if I'm brave enough,
Too lazy to answer 21 questions


"So this is why you've been smiling so much for the past couple of days."

Hyukjae's head snaps up, horrified when he sees Shindong holding his phone.

"Are you reading my e-mail?!"

"It was open in front of me," Shindong shrugs, "I couldn't just ignore it."

"Yes you could have!" Hyukjae snatches the phone from Shindong's grasp, secretly glancing at the screen to see if there is a reply before concealing it in his pocket.

"You know, meeting people on the internet is pretty creepy," Shindong informs. "What if he's a murderer?"

"I didn't technically meet him on the internet," Hyukjae clarifies, "he... answered my personal ad in the newspaper."

Shindong stares at Hyukjae blankly. "A personal ad? Really?"

"Yes, okay, just..." Hyukjae sighs. "Don't judge me."

Shindong frowns and pats Hyukjae's back. "No one is judging," he says. "Just don't get yourself killed by a creepy internet stranger."

"He's not a creepy stranger," Hyukjae mumbles after Shindong walks away, "he's ld1015... and he's intriguing."


Date: Sun, 7 Aug 2011
From: ld1015@lapdmail.com
To: hjbear0404@hotmail.com
Subject: I think you misunderstood

Dear Lazy,
You don't actually type up 21 questions at a time... you send a question I answer and I ask a question back.
I'm glad you had fun teasing me though. My only excuse is the small amount of sleep I was running on.
From the gossip I hear my mother sharing with her friends, I'm sorry to say there are a lot of assholes like that.
My mom can be scary, okay? And yeah! I'm sure of my age.
Okay, here's my question: What's your idea of the perfect date?
Slacking off at work,
Wondering if I sound like a girl


Date: Sun, 7 Aug 2011
From: hjbear0404@hotmail.com
To: ld1015@lapdmail.com
Subject: Are you a beauty pageant contestant?

Dear Girl,
I'm already curious to see how you'll get any more than five answers out of me.
You don't need an excuse, your mistake was kind of cute.
You sound close to your mother, also kind of cute.
Which also makes me question your age even more.
A perfect date for me would be anything real. Something that shows me who a person really is rather than showing off a fake side of themselves to impress me.
My question for you is, since you've just mentioned slacking off at work, what do you do for a living?
Curious as ever,
Still Lazy

(PS: how was your Sunday paper this week?)


Date: Sun, 7 Aug 2011
From: ld1015@lapdmail.com
To: hjbear0404@hotmail.com
Subject: Can you sense how good looking I am?

Dear Curiously Lazy,
I like a challenge.
I can't disagree on that one. I hear I'm absolutely adorable~
I not embarrassed to admit that at the first sign of the flu I instantly call my mother to whine for soup.
I swear I'm 25! Scouts honor!
That sounds like a good date. Shall I start planning our first now? :p
I'm a cop... My partner thinks I've been playing Tetris on my phone during stakeouts these past few nights but really I've been answering your emails.
I'm going to assume you'll tell me what you do for a living anyway and I'll ask you this instead:
Are you allergic to anything?
Pretending to file paperwork,
Still a slacker

(PS: I'm happy to announce not a single space was left blank. But those comics are lacking in humor these days.)


Date: Sun, 7 Aug 2011
From: hjbear0404@hotmail.com
To: ld1015@lapdmail.com
Subject: Getting better-looking in my mind with each e-mail

Dear Slacker Cop,
I like that you like a challenge.
So you're an adorable cop? Have I hit some sort of jackpot?
Okay, I'll believe that you're 25, but only because you admitting that you call your mother for soup obviously makes you an adult.
A date? And you do the planning? I'm in.
A cop is a very impressive profession. And your e-mail makes sense now.
Sadly, I didn't guess sooner and assumed that the "ld" and "lapd" in your address meant lapdog. Still not sure what my brain even thinks that means.
I'm allergic to honey, as weird as that may sound. It's a shame because it always looks so tempting and delicious.
Speaking of tempting and delicious, my question is... do you come with a dashing police uniform?
Waiting for your answer,
Kind Of A Moron

(PS: I'm proud of you. I was too distracted glancing at the crossword section to think about the comics...)


Date: Sun, 7 Aug 2011
From: ld1015@lapdmail.com
To: hjbear0404@hotmail.com
Subject: I'm quite fit as well.

Dear Look Whose Adorable Now,
Are you willing to be my challenge?
You might have. You haven't told me what you do, I want to know what kind of jackpot I've hit!
Exactly. I'm a good boy/cop. I mean man. I'm a man.
A little romance never hurt~
....Lapdog? Like a dog that curls up in your lap? Do you secretly want to cuddle me?
That's sad. But now I know what to avoid feeding you.
On special occasions ;P
And on that note, my question is: Are you kinky or should I leave my cuffs at home?
Starting to daydream about you,
Sexy Cop

(PS: I'm grinning stupidly at my phone right now)


Date: Monday, 8 Aug 2011
From: hjbear0404@hotmail.com
To: ld1015@lapdmail.com
Subject: Jackpot

Dear Definitely A Jackpot,
I'm willing to challenge you any way you'd like me to.
What if you haven't hit a jackpot? My job isn't nearly as cool as being a cop. I don't think I want to scare you way just yet.
I swear you better be an adult. Police uniforms may be sexy but I don't want a cop to arrest me for being a pedophile.
Romance is nice. I like romance.
And I like cuddling so I hope me secretly wanting to cuddle you isn't a problem. Unless... you don't like cuddling... then cuddling sucks.
Feeding me? Will you feed me (things that I'm not allergic to)?
I'll look forward to special occasions.
Kinky. Definitely kinky.
My next question is... what do you think about meeting me?
Starting to wonder if you're too good to be true,
Probably Not A Jackpot

(PS: I am too)


Donghae pulls out his phone and scrolls through his unread emails with only one person in mind. He grins as he opens up the email, laughing softly to himself before hitting the reply button.

"You do know..." Youngwoon, his partner, says as he sneaks back into their car, passing Donghae his taco, "we're on a mission, right?"

"I wouldn't have been able to tell, Woonie," Donghae gives him an innocent glance. "What with your need to constantly buy enough food for a party." He nods back at the mess of take away wrappers in the others back seat.

Youngwoon rolls his eyes as Donghae begins to type up a response. "Does he have a nice dick?" Donghae gives him a hard stare and Youngwoon starts to laugh. "I can't exactly ask if he's got nice tits, can I?"

"If you have to know... I don't know what he looks like yet."

"What has the world come to when Lee Donghae needs to rely on internet dating? Guys like you should be able to walk into a bar and attract all the dicks or chicks you want."

Donghae snorts, opening his mouth to reply when he caught a moment a few hundred feet from their car. He sits up straight and drops his untouched taco and phone to the ground before he can press send.

"Suspect is on the move," he points out, Youngwoon quickly falling into serious mode again. Donghae radios the other surveillance team and then they're out of the car and ready to make their move. His unsent email is forgotten while he focuses on his job.


Date: Wed, 10 Aug 2011
From: hjbear0404@hotmail.com
To: ld1015@lapdmail.com
Subject: Are you alive?

It's been a couple of days and I was just wondering if maybe you hadn't received my e-mail or if I offended you somehow. I'm sorry if I did.
I really hope you're okay...


Date: Thur, 11 Aug 2011
From: ld1015@lapdmail.com
To: hjbear0404@hotmail.com
Subject: I'm so sorry!

Dear Kinky,
I'm so, so, so, so, so, so, so sorry I haven't emailed you recently! I was caught up in a case and chasing down bad guys takes a lot of time!
I'm okay, just a few bruises and scratches- you know, marks of warrior and all that.
I feel really bad I didn't get a chance to send you an email and I swear I was about to!
Romance is more than just nice, and I want to make my absence up to you with some.
I'm tied up at work at the moment so I'm not sure when I'll be free next.
But, there's a post office on main street, please go in any time tomorrow and ask them to open P.O Box 8020 for you.
I hope you'll forgive me and reply soon if you're not too upset by me,


Date: Fri, 12 Aug 2011
From: hjbear0404@hotmail.com
To: ld1015@lapdmail.com
Subject: Relieved!

Dear Not An Idiot,
It's totally fine! Duty calls and you have an important job, I completely understand. I'm just glad you're okay.
But... this gift... a rose and a teddy bear? What did I do to deserve this? You're the one out saving lives and getting hurt, I should be sending you presents.
Thank you so much. It's adorable... and......... perhaps a little ironic.
I can't stop smiling. My face is going to start hurting soon!
I really thought I'd scared you off somehow. I'm so glad I didn't.
Cuddling a teddy bear and waiting for your reply,

Date: Fri, 12 Aug 2011
From: ld1015@lapdmail.com
To: hjbear0404@hotmail.com
Subject: Happy

Dear Giddy,
I'm glad I'm okay as well and I'm so glad you liked my presents!
Don't be silly, you don't have to get me anything... To be honest, I felt like I'd skipped out on a daily routine.
I really look forward to your emails, you know.
How was my present ironic? Does it have to do with your email address?
You never told me what you did for a living!!
You haven't scared me away at all,
(PS. You should probably give Officer Bear a kiss as well, because, you know, he's was out there risking his life and everything for you... Just saying.)


Date: Fri, 12 Aug 2011
From: hjbear0404@hotmail.com
To: ld1015@lapdmail.com
Subject: Teddy Bears

Dear Brave,
I'll make it up to you somehow. I can't accept such a sweet gift without wanting to give something in return.
I really look forward to your emails as well. Waiting for replies makes me anxious.
Your ironic present has to do with my email address... and what I do for a living.
I'm a product designer. Specifically, a toy designer. More specifically... the fluffy kind of toys. Quite often... teddy bears.
Kind of embarrassed by my manly occupation,
Teddy Bear Maker

(PS: I gave Officer Bear a peck on the cheek. Although I think he deserves more for his kind services... there are things one should not do to a teddy bear.)


Date: Sat, 13 Aug 2011
From: ld1015@lapdmail.com
To: hjbear0404@hotmail.com
Subject: Is it weird to like someone so much without ever meeting them?

Dear Manly,
My niece would definitely consider this hitting the jackpot.
Please tell me I didn't just buy one of your own creations and sent it to you! Although, that would be like a compliment, right?
You don't have to get me anything! I'm the one that went missing for so long.
I might be free on Monday, will you be free to meet for lunch? I've been anxious to meet you for a while now...
My niece says you could be like my personal build-a-bear. I'm very much okay with this.
I think you've just gotten a seal of approval from a six year old,

(PS. ...It's a good thing I'm not a teddy bear)


Date: Sat, 13 Aug 2011
From: hjbear0404@hotmail.com
To: ld1015@lapdmail.com
Subject: Is this really happening?

Dear Excited,
Luckily you didn't send me my own creation, although I wouldn't have minded if you did (because I make awesome teddy bears).
Are you planning to use me for free teddy bears? Because... I'm okay with that. For your niece, of course. Who is very smart to approve of me.
Monday. Lunch. I think I can do that. Tell me when and where.
I think I have manly butterflies in my stomach,
Also Excited


Date: Sun, 14 Aug 2011
From: ld1015@lapdmail.com
To: hjbear0404@hotmail.com
Subject: I really hope this isn't a dream

Dear Manly Butterflies,
You'll have to show me all your creations soon. And by me I mean my niece, of course.
She is very smart. And I wouldn't need a teddy bear, I'd have you. Right?
1pm? I'll attach the address with this email.
It's 5 in the morning, I've just gotten my paper. I just got home but I'm already too excited to sleep.
I'm thinking of you instead of doing my crossword!


Date: Sun, 14 Aug 2011
From: hjbear0404@hotmail.com
To: ld1015@lapdmail.com
Subject: Still full of butterflies

Dear You Need To Sleep More,
I'll gladly show your niece my creations. I hope she likes them.
Hmmm the teddy bear maker becomes the teddy bear?
I'll be carrying a small stuffed bear, that's how you'll know it's me. I hope it won't make me look crazy.
Don't think of me or do crosswords at a time when you should be asleep!
See you tomorrow...


Date: Mon, 15 Aug 2011
From: ld1015@lapdmail.com
To: hjbear0404@hotmail.com
Subject: Well.

That's the first time I've been stood up like that. I think I waited all day for you.

...Did you forget today was Monday? I hope so...


Date: Mon, 15 Aug 2011
From: hjbear0404@hotmail.com
To: ld1015@lapdmail.com
Subject: I'm sorry!

I'm really really really really really sorry!
My sister called and she really needed me. She had this stupid, abusive boyfriend a while back...
He came by to harass her and he... I don't even want to repeat it but he hurt her. He's in jail now and she's okay. That's all that matters.
She called me crying and I dropped everything because... she's my sister.
I'm so sorry I wasn't there, I feel beyond terrible. I still really want to meet you but I understand if you don't forgive me.


Date: Tue, 16 Aug 2011
From: ld1015@lapdmail.com
To: hjbear0404@hotmail.com
Subject: Is everything okay?!

I feel like such a douche right now! I didn't even think about anything bad happening with you!
Is she okay? Are you okay? Do you need any help? I am a police officer, I could help you with anything you need.
Do you want me to look over the case or anything? Make sure everything's being dealt with?
Anything at all, please let me know. I'm really worried.
Of course I understand, I would have rushed for my family as well. This just makes me admire you more.
I really still want to meet you but unfortunately we've picked up another case and I'm not sure when I'll be free.
My partner is married so I tend to pick up all the late night work so he can get back to his family since... I haven't got anyone waiting for me at home.
It'll take me a few days to figure out my schedule.
I really hope I get to meet you soon though. Will you make up canceling our first date by letting me know your name ?
Eagerly waiting for you,


Date: Tue, 16 Aug 2011
From: hjbear0404@hotmail.com
To: ld1015@lapdmail.com
Subject: I'm so relieved!

Dear Donghae,
You're not a douche! I should have tried to at least send you something so you wouldn't wait for me. I'm still really sorry.
My sister is fine. She's staying with me tonight but since she'd be alone while I work, she's going out of town in the morning to stay with some family.
The guy is in jail. As long as he's in there and nowhere near my sister, I don't think I'll need any help. But thank you for offering. You're really sweet.
Although... if you have any nice cop friends to set her up with in the future... let me know.
I'm sorry you have to work so late... but it explains the weird times you seem to be awake at.
Take as much time as you need. Even if I'm dying to meet you, I'll wait.
Donghae... like... east sea? Even your name is adorable.
Just glad you're still willing to talk to me,


Date: Wed, 17 Aug 2011
From: ld1015@lapdmail.com
To: hjbear0404@hotmail.com
Subject: Me too.

Dear Hyukjae,
I feel like a preteen girl ready to scribble Donghae Hearts Hyukjae all over my notebook or something.
My partner has been happily teasing me all morning.
I'm really relieved everything is okay.
Most of my friends are married and happily take advantage of the fact I'm not.
I end up picking up a lot of late shifts and babysitting for my partner occasionally. (Aren't I everything you dreamed about? :p)
But I'll happily run every guy she dates in the future through extensive background checks. I make an excellent 'bad cop'.
I'm about to head out for a small undercover mission so I might not reply until tomorrow, so let me leave you with a story.
When I was filling out documents for the department last year after a long vacation in Mokpo with my mom, I became so used to writing my last name first that I automatically filled out all my forms that way.
Now most people in my station think I'm just another Asian named Lee. It works out though, since everyone calls out your last name here anyway.
I'll talk to you soon,


Date: Wed, 17 Aug 2011
From: hjbear0404@hotmail.com
To: ld1015@lapdmail.com
Subject: Donghae Donghae Donghae

Dear Donghae,
If your partner teases you, I don't think you want to leave any notebooks like that laying around.
Babysitting is nothing but adorable.
Undercover missions, on the other hand, sound kind of sexy.
And dangerous. Please be careful. I want to meet you while you're still in one piece.
You're adorable, then sexy, then you fill your forms out incorrectly and you're adorable again.
Are you sure you're real? I hope to find out soon.
Also an Asian named Lee,


Date: Sat, 20 Aug 2011
From: ld1015@lapdmail.com
To: hjbear0404@hotmail.com

It's 1 something in the morning, I've just got into my apartment. I've just had an awful day, the bust didn't go as planned.
I really hope you're awake so that I have something to smile about before bed... but, I really hope you're asleep so that you're well rested and all.
If the pain is any indication, I'm very real and very exhausted.
I'm sorry. I'm complaining so much... I was really just going to apologize for replying so late but suddenly I just felt like unloading a little.
Is it weird that I missed you?

(PS. I could really use some cuddles right now, but sleep will have to do.)


Date: Sat, 20 Aug 2011
From: hjbear0404@hotmail.com
To: ld1015@lapdmail.com
Subject: I wish I was there

I wish I could be there to cuddle you.
Don't apologize for complaining, you can vent as much as you need to. I'll listen to... or... I guess I'll read whatever you need to say.
I'm sorry you're in pain... I really wish I could make it go away.
It's not weird. I miss you every time I hit send.
Which is why we need to meet. I'm starting to feel desperate.
Selfishly waiting for you to be free of work,

(PS: Sleep. You need it.)


Date: Sat, 20 Aug 2011
From: ld1015@lapdmail.com
To: hjbear0404@hotmail.com
Subject: Refreshed

I'm feeling a lot better now, I slept most of the day. I'm just heading into work to drop off some paperwork. I've got medical leave to recover.
If you're free the rest of the day maybe we can send emails back and forth? Figure out another day for us to meet?
Selfishly wanting to burn all paperwork,


Date: Sat, 20 Aug 2011
From: hjbear0404@hotmail.com
To: ld1015@lapdmail.com
Subject: Relaxing

I'm glad you're better and you get some time off. Take it easy, okay?
I'm not doing anything today except talking to you.
At this point I'm willing to skip work any day of the week to meet you.
Awaiting a day of talking with you,


Donghae can't believe his luck as he stands outside a really nice residential building. He glances at the address on the scrap piece of paper in his hand once more and feels like some sort of deranged stalker. He laughs to himself a little, feeling excited as he shoves the paper into his pocket and pulls out his badge from his shirt to let it hang around his neck in view.

He's wearing a light grey v-neck shirt that's slightly fitted over dark blue jeans. His arms bear some bruises from the previous night. There's a bandage on his cheek but nothing stops him from smiling as brightly as he wants to. Donghae runs his hand through his hair before heading into the building, nodding at the security as he heads straight up to the elevator.

Once he reaches the correct floor, Donghae puts on his serious work face and knocks the door.

Hyukjae makes pancakes even though it's not breakfast time anymore and he'd already eaten cereal early this morning. He's still in his pajamas so it feels like a second breakfast. He checks his messages and doesn't find a response. He pretends not to be eager even if no one can see him. He spins around in his desk chair, occasionally stopping to eat a bite of pancake until he realizes that it might not be a good idea to spin and eat at the same time. He puts on a pair of reading glasses to scroll through a web page while checking his inbox every few seconds.

A knock on the door interrupts his thoughts. Frowning, Hyukjae stands up, pushing his glasses down the bridge of his nose so he can see over them. He shuffles to the door and opens it without realizing that there's a forkful of pancake in his hand.

It's a cop. A good-looking cop. He's wearing a v-neck instead of a uniform but there's a badge around his neck and a professional look on his face.

Hyukjae is sure he looks as far from professional as one can be but at least he'd showered this morning. He glances at the badge and his heart jumps ever so slightly, but he doesn't get his hopes up.

"Can I help you?"

It takes a moment for Donghae to respond, his eyes quickly scan over the man in front of him and he has to try really hard in order to keep himself from grinning suddenly. Hyukjae, at least he hopes this is Hyukjae, is really good-looking and adorable and he might just taste like pancakes right now if his fork is any indication to what he's been up to and Donghae would like to just crawl back into Hyukjae's bed with him and...

And Donghae clears his throat and hopes to god he still looks professional and not like a teenage boy after his first wet dream.

"Mr Lee?" He asks. "I'm with the LAPD, I'm just dropping by for a follow up interview... it's routine for a case like yours." Donghae twists the truth slightly, "Mind if I come in for a bit?"

"Um... I guess so," Hyukjae glances to the fork in his hand and lowers it. "Let me just... put this... away. Come in."

Hyukjae turns around, picking up his empty plate and swiftly making his way to the kitchen. He looks at the fork for a moment before eating the last bite of pancake off of it and putting it in the sink along with the plate. He washes his hands and pats down his messy brown hair although he's pretty sure it won't help anything.

Returning to the officer, Hyukjae takes off his glasses and takes a seat on his couch.

"So," he says, licking his lips to make sure there's no food left on them, "how can I help you?"

Donghae walks into the apartment after Hyukjae and lets out a small smile as he takes a look around the apartment. He's walking around in the living room as Hyukjae comes back and doesn't bother to sit, letting his eyes wander over a few picture frames. His professional face is back and he gives the other man a quick glance.

"Have you noticed any suspicious activity lately?" He asks. Donghae has already made sure there were absolutely no loose ends left in Hyukjae's sister's case. "Things like this don't just happen to women, sir, good-looking men like yourself often find themselves in such positions as well. You should be careful." His tone is on the edge of flirty but it isn't quite there yet.

"Suspicious?" Hyukjae blinks and looks around, thinking. He glances at his laptop before he shakes his head. "No, not that I can think of... but why would anyone come after me? Is that bastard... excuse me, I mean, that guy my sister was with into something I should know about?"

Hyukjae is waiting for a response when the realization hits him. Did a police officer just hit on him? He can't help glancing at his laptop again before looking at the officer.
There's an almost silly yet pleasant feeling that rushes through Donghae when he realizes what Hyukjae is doing. Hyukjae is waiting for his reply online.

"I'm sorry Mr. Hyukjae," Donghae says, the name coming off his tongue like it's been practiced, "You seem distracted... Am I interrupting something?" He casually points towards the bedroom as if to ask Hyukjae if he has company despite knowing the other is looking at his laptop. Frankly, Donghae wants to stop teasing Hyukjae and kiss him senseless. But he's waited so long already, what's another few minutes? Besides, he's thoroughly enjoying checking Hyukjae out.

Hyukjae is confused. He glances to where the officer is pointing and his eyes widen.

"No!" Hyukjae exclaims suddenly. "I mean, I'm alone. The only thing in my bedroom is a stuffed bear." Hyukjae smiles a little thinking about the bear. "I guess if I seem distracted it's because I was waiting for... an important email... but safety is more important, so... please, continue."

Donghae turns and gives Hyukjae the most serious look he can muster up.

"Safety is important," he nods. "On the internet as well. Even in the bedroom." He adds like an afterthought. Donghae is happy Hyukjae has been sleeping with the teddy bear he gave him nearby and can't help but to tease Hyukjae about it. "I'm sure that bear keeps you perfectly safe at night."

Hyukjae feels a strange, giddy tingle at the officer's words. He's torn between thinking this guy isn't really a cop and is somewhat of a psycho, or he's being teased.

"Yes," Hyukjae says seriously, "safety is important everywhere. Since you brought it up, do you practice safety in the bedroom, officer?"

"Sir..." Donghae practically purrs, "I'm an officer, I assure you that you'd be nothing but safe with me in bed." He licks his bottom lip before smirking at Hyukjae. He shoves a hand in his pocket, pushing his shirt out of the way enough to let Hyukjae have a glimpse of the handcuffs attached to his belt.

The tingle that Hyukjae feels is suddenly in his crotch. Not trusting any seductive instincts he might have, he remains calm and still, only nodding at the officer's words and staring at the handcuffs.

"What did you say your name was again?" Hyukjae asks.

"I'm a little hurt, Hyukjae," Donghae almost pouts, "I thought I'd be the only officer you flirt with. Should Officer Teddy and I be worried about other cops you have on the side?" Donghae finally says, looking straight at the other. His heart is suddenly pounding in his chest and he's starting to feel nervous.

Hyukjae opens his mouth to say something but he only closes it again and swallows. He stares back at Donghae. Donghae, the object of his everyday fantasies, standing in front of him, gorgeous and flirty and perfect. Hyukjae stands abruptly, planning to jump on Donghae and kiss his face off but he restrains himself.

"I can assure you that you're the only officer I flirt with," Hyukjae says. "And I'm sure Officer Teddy can vouch for me. He's in the bedroom... would you like to interrogate him?"

"Oh I plan on interrogating him alright," Donghae tells him, taking a step forward. He comes up close to Hyukjae and places a hand on his side. "Once I'm done with you, of course."

Donghae grins brightly at Hyukjae, amazed he's finally got his hand on his perfect stranger that he's been day dreaming about for days now. Carefully, as if scared Hyukjae will suddenly disappear, Donghae brings his other hand to cup Hyukjae's face and looks into his eyes. "I can't believe I'm finally looking at you."

Hyukjae is frozen but his body feels flushed. He's staring back into Donghae's eyes with Donghae's hand touching his skin. He reaches up and very gently brushes his fingers over the bandage on Donghae's cheek. He thinks about the hard work Donghae does and the reason for the bandage. He carefully presses his palm against Donghae's wounded skin, offering comfort.

"I can't believe you're real," he says softly. "And I can't believe you didn't run away when I opened the door. I'm sure I'm not the attractive male you imagined."

"No, you're much better than the image I had," Donghae laughs. "I'm afraid my imagination isn't all that great. I kept picturing a man's body with a bear's head." He confesses, blushing slightly. Donghae leans into Hyukjae's touch, enjoying it. "You look very nice in your pajamas and I'd love to see you like this a lot more..." Donghae says, hoping Hyukjae understands his hint. He really wants to try a relationship with this man.

It is insane how much Donghae wants Hyukjae.

"And I do have the rest of the day off, you know."

Hyukjae wonders if they look weird: a cop and a guy in his pajamas, both blushing and staring at each other. He listens to Donghae's words, smiling at a sweet voice that he never could have imagined.

"Well," Hyukjae says, trying to sound confident, "if you want to see me like this a lot more... and you have the day off... I wouldn't be opposed to spending the rest of the day with you in my pajamas. And maybe the night. And maybe we can spend tomorrow morning with the Sunday paper. But... if it's too much, I understand."

Hyukjae blinks when he realizes a flaw in his plan.

"I mean," he starts, flustered, "I won't wear these same pajamas the whole time, I'll totally change them. Or I could wear something else. Something that's... not pajamas. I just... I don't wear these all the time, or anything. I wash them. And I wear other things. Sometimes."

He stops before he embarrasses himself further.

Donghae laughs, shaking his head at how Hyukjae is rambling. "I like your pajamas," he says, tugging Hyukjae closer, trying to lessen the gap between them. His eyes fall to Hyukjae's lips and he starts leaning in without realizing it.

"And yeah, I'd love to stay the night and the morning," he looks extremely happy at this, "but only if you let me order in for us."

Running his thumb gently across Hyukjae's sharp jawline, Donghae leans in the rest of the way and places a gentle kiss against Hyukjae's cheek experimentally. He pulls away suddenly, narrowing his eyes at Hyukjae despite the butterflies in his stomach.

"You don't have any other stuffed animals in your room, right?"

"I only have Officer Bear," Hyukjae says once he remembers how to speak. "Why? Are you... jealous?" He grins, purposely leaning closer.

Donghae snorts.

"I'm only making sure I mark my place thoroughly," he says before finally leaning in and kissing Hyukjae as badly as he's wanted to since Hyukjae had opened the door for him. He pulls Hyukjae close against his body and lets out a soft sigh as heat waves through his body at the contact.

Hyukjae lets out a muffled reply against Donghae's lips and it turns into a tiny, soft, barely noticeable noise of pleasure when he realizes that he's finally kissing Donghae. He moves his hands to the back of Donghae's neck, gently curling his fingers in soft hair and kissing back with every ounce of sweetness he can manage.

There might as well be fireworks exploding around them as far as Donghae is concerned. He kisses Hyukjae back deeply, the atmosphere around them heating up quickly. Gladly losing himself in the moment, Donghae doesn't notice he is pushing Hyukjae backwards until they start to fall onto the couch. His hand shoots out on instinct, the other curling around Hyukjae's waist to break the fall despite the soft space they are landing on.

Hyukjae lets out some sort of squeak and clings to Donghae as they fall. Donghae laughs as they land and starts kissing down Hyukjae's neck happily, feeling like all his wishes have been granted.


Tags: author: backstage ninja rapist, fandom: super junior, genre: au, genre: comedy, genre: fluff, length: multishot, pairing: donghae/eunhyuk, rating: pg-13, work: collaboration, work: fanfiction
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